Can I?

Can I tell u a secret?
Can I ask u something?
I even don't need ur permission
But I just wanna tell u something
I just wanna ask u something

I secretly missing u
I secretly loving u
I secretly hoping u still love me
and I secretly want u back to me

do u still miss me?
do u still love me?
do u still hope that I still love u?
and do u still want me to be a part of ur life?

If I still miss u, do u mind it?
If I still love u, do u mind it?
If I still hope u to love me, do u mind it?
and if I still want u back to me, do u mind it?

tell me if u still miss me
tell me if u still love me
tell me if u still hope that I still love u
and tell me if u still want me to be a part of ur life
coz I'll always miss u
I'll always love u
and I'll always be the part of ur life

but if u don't,
why did u say u miss me?
why did u say I'm the only one who can match with u, in many ways?
and why did u come to me again like u ever did before?

can u just go away from my life if u don't love me anymore?
can u just go away from my life if u don't want me in ur life anymore?
and can u just go away and don't ever trying to search me if u just wanna be friend with me?

but if u don't love me anymore
if u don't want me anymore
and if u really go away from my life forever,
can I accept that?
can I forgot u?
can I just live my life freely like before?
can I?

I still miss u
I still love u
I still hope ur still love me
and I still want u back to me

but will that happen?
will u still love me?
will u still want me?

doesn't matter whatever ur answer
I just wanna write what's on my mind
please don't hate me coz of this
and please don't go away from me

please let me know..

I'm trying to hate u when u call me
but I can't
I'm trying to be like as 'just a friend' to u
but I can't
I'm trying to doesn't care whenever u don't call me
but I can't

whenever u call me
I'm happy
whenever u said u care to me
I'm happy
whenever u said u miss me
I'm very happy

but what can I do??
I'm trying to trust u anymore
but u lied to me again and again
and u just go away without any report

don't u ever said I didn't even notice
I knew and I have been searching u
I'm trying to send u a message
but u haven't been replied until now

what the hell is on ur mind when u said that??
u said u miss me
and u wanna give an effort to met me that day
but what???
even u don't give me a report
until today

I hate if I must hate u
I hate if I can't keep in touch with u
but I hate if ur still lying to me again and again
so please, don't lying to me again

I ever said that I hate u
I ever said that I don't want to met u again
I ever said that I don't want to be friend with u again
I'm sorry, I didn't meant it
that's just an expression of my feeling
besides, that's happen long time ago

and we're still be best friend
and u said, I'm the best of all ur best friends
and I know for sure, ur the best too
but why are u leave me now?
without any notification?

u just go away
and take my heart away too
I don't wanna lose u
not again
altough we're just friend
I don't wanna lose u again like I did before
so please come back to me

please let me know
where are u now?
what do u do now?
what are u thinking now?
what are ur feeling now?
please let me know u like u did before

How much ur price?

Back when we was talking
I felt ur mine again
I felt we were never broke up
I felt we were a couple again
But then I remember
Ur not here anymore
Ur not mine anymore

I know my fault
U know ur fault
I've been forgive u
would u forgive me too?
and try to build our relationship together again?

I've been met many other boys
but they're all different than u
they can't make me comfortable like u
they can't make me laugh
they can't make me be myself
and I know for sure,
they can't complete my life

u've been met that girl
u've been in a relationship with that girl
but u broke up
u said that she's not like me
u said that she's can't make u comfortable
u said that she can't make u laugh
and finally u said,
the one that can complete ur life is me

I know from the first time that u complete my life
and now u said that I complete yours
what else can I say?

I have a faith that we're made for each other
and u don't deny it
my friend told me maybe ur still have any special feeling to me
and I feel it too
but I don't have any bravery to ask u
I scared if my question make u far from me again
I don't want to be far away from u again
I don't want to lose u again
and if be friend with u can make me still in touch with u
I won't break this with my question

but later days,
I really really want u
anytime my friend said about boy
I always think of u
I always want u to be with me again
and if my love still can't buying u
tell me how much ur price
So I can afford u
And having u as long as I live

may 11th, 2009

I wish we were never know each other,
but we know each other.

I wish we were never met,
but we met.

I wish we were never love each other,
but we love each other.

I wish we were never got that problem,
but we got that fuc*ing problem.

I wish we were not separate,
but we're separate.

and now I wish I could turn back time,
but I can't turn back time.

and if I can turn back time, and remove that fuc*ing problem, today I'll be very happy.
coz today is may 11th, 2009
this day must have be our day
our 2nd anniversary
but u're not here
u're not mine anymore

and if I want u back, would u be mine again?
would u do anything like u ever said to me?
would u just trust urself and don't care whatever ur mommy said?
like u said to me?
would u fulfill ur promise?
or u said that without thinking?
some kind of bullshit or anything?

tell me what's on ur mind
when u trying to have a chat with me
what's on ur mind?
did u just play with me?
or u maybe feel some chemistry like when we first met?
or what?

please tell me something
or I'll be dying to know
and just for ur info,
if u wanna trying this again,
maybe I'll accept it without any hesitate
and I will keep this relationship with every breath of mine

but if u dare to play with me,
never say my name again
even in ur dream
coz I'll blacklisted u until I die
and don't hoping for my forgiveness

and now,
I miss ur smile
I miss ur jokes
I miss ur touch
and I'm really sure,
I really really miss u

but what can I do?
there's no way to get u back
unless u've changed ur mind
unless u were fulfilled ur promise to me
but when will this happen?
must I waiting u for the rest of my life?
or maybe u'll come back today?
or the day after tomorrow?
or next week?
or next month?
or next year?
or maybe u'll never come back to me?
I don't know

but I believe, if God want we together
someday, u'll be mine forever
but if that day never come,
I'll never forgot u
u're the best thing God ever gave to me
and I'll remember our time together
as the sweetest memory as long as I live